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Flurph Newsboard

Number 33 - November 2003

News This Month:
Matt's Journal #132 Doctor Who is 40
Matt's Journal #131
Ten Thousanth Visitor!
Matt's Journal #128

Matt's Journal #132


I dont think 4 year olds telling wee and poo jokes is supposed to be dirty at all, not in the way adults telling adult jokes is dirty. 4 year olds don't have any sense of smut. No, I think it's more of an acknowledgement thing. Dirty things happen, and they have just become aware of that. They tell it to each other and laugh. In that effect, a 4 year old telling a wee or poo poo joke is the same as some cynical adult listening to OK Computer or Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, then smiling as they see how it relates to their bleak workplace.

Just an opinion anyway.

I had a bit of fun in Mornington today with a dictaphone, recording traffic and bird noises. It's funny, people look at you like you're a terrorist, pointing a blunt black instrument into the sky. I could only smirk at their expressions, really.

Doctor Who is 40

This hasn't really got anything to do with the site, but Doctor Who is a great show. 40 years ago today, it was first broadcast. I encourage anyone who hasn't heard of the show to check out the show's
official website, which has flash movies, an episode guide, and free e-books to download. - MQ (A Doctor Who fan so big his has a life size TARDIS replica)

Matt's Journal #131

I've been sent some snazzy order forms for "Don't Live Vicariously Through Your Dog". I'll have to figure out who to send them too. People who don't me, probably. Old school spam through Australia Post. In that way I feel a bit dirty. When you're not so high up in writing and stuff, it's hard to get anyone to notice you. I mean, sometimes I forget that I exist.

The other day I found out that Syd Barrett is happy with his life, and is writing a history of art. I also found out that I know as much about Syd as the other members of Pink Floyd, since they don't actually visit him and just rely on what is said about him through the press and internet sites and such. I don't know why I wrote that just now. I'm obsessed with progressive rock at the moment, you see. Pink Floyd, King Crimson, Yes, all of them. It's so much more interesting than todays music, which seems to be about emotions and music encyclopedias most of the time.

Ooh, that last statement was awfully cryptic, wasn't it? I've never been good at those crosswords.

Are you cross with my words? I hope not, don't want to get people angry so close to the 10,000th visitor. No, I should be offering them cucumber sandwiches and having a ye olde wilde time.

Ok, I'm showing off now. I'll go.

Ten Thousandth Visitor!

I blinked and missed it. We've had 10,000 visitors to the site since it started. Wow! Do I get a cake? I'd offer you a piece if we had one.



It's been a while since an update, and that's been a for a few reasons. I'm sorry. Bravenet's been down, updating I expect. When everything started working again, my guestbook had shiny new icons. Look!

Matt's Journal #128


One hundred better things you could be doing instead of watching an Adam Sandler film or reading Shakespeare.

100 Nothing
99 Sleep
98 Make a Doctor's appointment
97 Practice your signature
96 Clean your room
95 Defrag your hardrive and watch the little pixels move around
94 Go to
93 Rewrite Shakespeare and/or Adam Sandler
92 Play Space Invaders
91 Play a game of pool or billiards
90 Play a game of golf (WITHOUT being angry)
89 Get a haircut
88 Start a stamp collection
87 Go to the beach
86 Go to a city park
85 Learn a language
84 Learn to dance
83 Watch an old Charlie Chaplin film
82 Watch the film "Bowling for Columbine"
81 Read "The Hidden Persuaders" by Vance Packard
80 Watch "Kath and Kim"
79 Have a nice long bath or spa.
78 Browse through an old encyclopedia
77 Play "Tetris"
76 Learn a computer programming language.
75 Learn to do mirror writing.
74 Listen to a radio station you've never tried before.
73 Go clubbing
72 Watch "Star Wars"
71 Look at some Picasso paintings.
70 Play the game "Head Rush"
69 Play the game "Half Life" (the original, not the expansions)
68 Watch some "Mr Squiggle"
67 Watch an episode of "Scooby Doo"
66 Watch an old episode of the "Simpsons"
65 Watch a David Attenbourough documentary
64 Follow some ants around, see where they go.
63 Ring up a talkback radio station about a topic that interests you.
62 Go shopping
61 Play some ice cream truck music really loudly in your car and drive down a busy street.
60 Plan a party
59 Bake a cake
58 Listen to the "Goon Show"
57 Read some "Phantom" comics.
56 Read the book "Wuthering Heights"
55 Watch the film "Life is Beautiful"
54 Read "Gulliver's Travels"
53 Play the game "Starcraft" (PC Version)
52 Listen to a record by "Faust" and try to make sense of it.
51 Play your favourite music backwards and listen up for hidden messages.
50 Go to and download some remixes
49 Watch any of the "Alien" films
48 Watch the film "Tremors"
47 Play "Super Mario Brothers" (1,2,3 or World, Land, 64, even RPG)
46 Go to a museum
45 Post on a message board or forum on the net.
44 Play with your pets.
43 Browse through an antique store or opportunity shop.
42 Listening to Tool records in a darkened room.
41 Find the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comics from the early 1980s and read em.
40 Watch the film "Communion"
39 Watch the film "Waking Life"
38 Watch the film "Austin Powers"
37 Watch the film "The Wall"
36 Read Isle of Telethis by Matt Quarterstein!
35 Play "Nebulus"
34 Watch a film directed by John Carpenter.
33 Listen to some "Radiohead" records and discuss what the songs mean with friends.
32 Read up about Syd Barrett and listen to his music.
31 Listen to the Smiths
30 Read some Oscar Wilde
29 Watch some "Seinfeld"
28 Go for a hike
27 Learn a musical instrument
26 Reading "Dean Men's Secrets" by Jonathan Gray.
25 Go Gardening
24 Go to a concert of some kind
23 Read "Alice in Wonderland"
22 Watch "The Beatles Anthology"
21 Watch "The Goodies"
20 Read a "Paul Jennings" book
19 Watch "Kung Pow: Enter the Fist"
18 Watch "Spaceballs"
17 Read some "Asterix" comics.
16 Read some "Lone Wolf" books
15 Watch some "Doctor Who"
14 Visit a national park
13 Watch "2001: A Space Odyssey"
12 Reading "3001: The Final Odyssey" by Arthur C. Clarke
11 Reading the "Chronicles of Narnia" by C.S Lewis.
10 Watch some episodes of "The Mysterious Cities of Gold"
9 Watch some "Monty Python"
8 Watch or read some "Tintin"
7 Watch "Yellow Submarine"
6 Watching some episodes of the "Neon Genesis Evangellion" series
5 Reading "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking.
4 Overcome a fear.
3 Find love.
2 Reading the Bible, Koran or whatever religious text applies to you.
1 Write a list of one hundred better things you could be doing instead of watching an Adam Sandler film or reading Shakespeare.

As you can see, I don't like Adam Sandler or Shakespeare at all. For the same reasons, actually.


November Flurph! Check out the sky blue background, man! If the weather holds, I might put another song up, and maybe some more poetry. Be patient, and the doctor will see you.

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