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The Adventures of Leon Chubbadanfish, the Waiter and Generalbreadbasket

The Characters Databank:

Hey, who let you in? You've got the wrong shirt, and those shoes just won't cut it...

Oops, I mean... HI, welcome to the characters databank. If you ever want to go to our planet and stalk somebody, here is your prime information source. It is also handy for getting a feel for what it is like to live here, with all these weirdos running around. If you are a weirdo yourself, you'll feel right at home in this databank.

The inhabitants here are a little camera shy, so we have to bring in artists who draw them according to how they see them. The artist we are featuring at the moment is the ellusive Tooth Wempale. He's done a picture for every character listed, except for the Narrator. Matt Quarterstein's provided us with a nice little green question mark to look at.

So without further rambling, let's introduce you to the who's who and the who's what. Here we go...

Leon Chubbadanfish - Artwork by Tooth Wempale

Leon Chubbadanfish:

For Leon, there are only two things in life, the conquest of the universe and hunting down aliens. However, this doesn't mean that he is your standard meat-headed marine. He is actually quite intelligent and resourceful, which has led him to rise to the rank of Second-to-Commander within the Earth Army. But in a universe that is almost 100 percent conquered by humanity, there is very little use for a military officer with a desire for conquest. This hasn't stopped Leon's passion for what he does, though. In fact, nothing has. Considering he has had to stay on Terra Ignoramus against his will, and put up with it, means he must have one of the strongest wills around, and some of the strongest guns around...

The Waiter - Artwork by Tooth Wempale


The Waiter is at best, the most annoying person you will ever meet. He will interrupt conversations, talk to cows in the middle of talking to you, and seem to dissappear and reappear in a most nonsensical fashion. At least you will be fed well when he is around, for he is a most talented waiter and cook. As a Waiter, he is very friendly and polite, although this may be the reason why he is so annoying.

General Breadbasket - Artwork by Tooth Wempale

General Breadbasket:

The General seems to have lived here longer than anyone, and has caused him to become quite... insane. He's usually off on his own adventure, and when he's not he could be eating, singing off key, claiming that he was once in the army or arguing with Leon. But if you can get past all that, he is quite helpful, and will do pretty much anything you ask him to... eventually.

Narrator - Artwork by Matt Quarterstein


The Narrator is convinced that because the story is in script form, it is a television series that people actually watch, and is intent on telling anybody in his presence of that fact. Although living in a world of contradictions, (which are usually caused by himself or the Waiter, of whom he has a love/hate relationship) he can't handle them very well, and is known to buckle under the pressure constantly.

Commander - Artwork by Tooth Wempale

Commander Bread-Basket:

Pretty much he's a big fat meanie, apart from being big and fat. He commands the Earth Army, and under his wing, humanity has conquered the universe. To most people he appears a foreboding figure, but is actually quite a petty, childish and panicky person. Do not underestimate him though, for he is craftier than anyone alive, and has tricked Leon many times and probably will continue to do so without even being suspected.

Gary - Artwork by Tooth Wempale


This is an alien you have got to watch out for. A sugar/flavored milk driven demon with a bizarre dialect and an even quirkier name. What's worse, he looks just like a normal human being!!! Doesn't it give you shivers just thinking about him?

Zorg - Artwork by Tooth Wempale


Descendant of the Tranorcs and direct descendant of the guardian of the Temple of Weapons. He usually keeps himself to himself unless someone messes with his property, or his life. His favorite forms of torture for people who have crossed him are painting them in Dijon mustard and eating them or nuking them to bits. The General, incidentally has offended Zorg many times, and gotten away with it.

Comm-Unit - Artwork by Tooth Wempale

Comm-Unit/Cyborg RATPNG-386:

Invented by the superboffin Professor Woodbridge, the Cyborg RATPNG-386 is 386 times more powerful than the very first Cyborg. How on Earth then did the Waiter manage to capture him? The CPU of the Cyborg is now housed within Leon's Comm-Unit, and has been quite helpful throughout his adventures.

NicJol - Artwork by Tooth Wempale


The last of the NicJol vampires, and descendant of the most powerful vampire, Varnic. Leon thought he had long ago taken care of this nasty little creature (and I mean nasty LITTLE creature, we're talking doll sized here!). Some say they have spotted NicJol on Terra Ignoramus, and hearing it's blood curdling cry of "NicJol! NicJol!". Whether or not it is true, I'm not going to be sleeping too sound tonight...

President Jock Wilheims - Artwork by Tooth Wempale

President Jock Wilheims:

Like all politicians, Jock Wilheims, the President of the Universe, is selfish, misinformed, corrupt and pretty much hated by the people he leads. With such an attitude, he is asking for trouble. Need I really say any more?

The Waitress - Artwork by Tooth Wempale


A flirty, short, caterer from the planet New Soho, the Waitress seems to be looking for a guy to call her own. As with the Waiter, she is friendly, yet annoying. Maybe they should get together...Maybe not. If they were ever going to get together, I'd warn the Waiter because the Waitress is way more crafty and manipulative than she appears, and I heard she cooks dog meat...

T'orc'e'der - Artwork By Tooth Wempale


As leader of the survivors of the ancient Tranorc race, and ancestor of Zorg, T'orc'e'der relies heavily on his traditions, and forces others he encounters to live by these traditions. It is these traditions, some say that decimated the Tranorc race. Will T'orc'e'der make the same mistakes as his own race, thousands of years ago?

Hopefully we will have more images soon

All designs, concepts and characters are © Matt Quarterstein
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